of faux fiancees and absolute love
by michellejjones
Summary: When the bouncer lets them in, Barry's hand links itself through hers and squeezes tight. "Together or not at all?" He asks, practically yelling over the noise and darkness. Caitlin bites her lip and nods. "Together." She says. "Or not at all." [Snowbarry Week 16, Day 1: Fake Dating/Accidental Marriage. Oneshot.]


**Hi, everyone, and welcome to Snowbarry week 2016! I hope y'all enjoy my version of day one: Fake dating/fake marriage. I've sort of turned it into "fake engagement". Woops. Also, I didn't proof read, so hopefully this isn't a complete mess. Thanks!**

 **Title: of faux fiancees and absolute love.**

 **Summary: ****The club is loud and the line is long. As they wait, Barry and Caitlin decide that this night will be their test night. They map out their plan, their backstory, and even their inside jokes. When the bouncer lets them in, Barry's hand links itself through hers and squeezes tight. "Together or not at all?" He asks, practically yelling over the noise and darkness. Caitlin bites her lip and nods. "Together." She says. "Or not at all."**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own _The Flash,_ or any other characters mentioned in this fic.**

* * *

 **of faux fiancees and absolute love.**

 **by clarabella wandering.**

* * *

It starts when Patty comes back into town.

Barry is sifting through some notes on a case (a burglary, it seems), when a knock on his office door startles him. "Caitlin!" He says, without turning around; He's been expecting her. "I'm almost done here, and then we can head-" Turning around, he sees it isn't Caitlin, but Patty. Patty Spivot.

She's dyed her hair brown and is wearing something ridiculously shiny on her finger (her ring finger, oh my God, he thinks), but it's her. Still her.

"You're not Caitlin." Barry says, at the same time as Patty responds with "sorry, I'm not Caitlin".

There's a breath of silence, before Patty launches into an explanation of why she's visiting; Her fiancee's brother lives in Central City. "Right." Barry says, "that's gr- um, that's great. But, why are you here?" Her face falls, and he, for some reason, feels a bit gutted. "Not that, you know, I mind, but still, it's... um..." He trails off. _Awkward, silly boy,_ he thinks. _Stupid, silly boy._

"I wanted to see you," Patty says finally. "To see how your were doing? Are you seeing anyone? Is..." She takes a breath, "is the Flash seeing anyone?"

 _Ah,_ Barry thinks. He was wondering when the other shoe would drop. He opens his mouth, searching for a response, searching for a way to _one-up_ her, to one-up The Great Patty Spivot Who Was Always One Step Ahead Of Him, but nothing's coming. It's then that Caitlin Snow chooses to walk through the door, her hair up in a ponytail, dressed in a short, dark blue dress with fishnet tights clinging to her calves and slightly scandalous white heels covering her feet.

And just like that, an idea strikes him.

"Yes, actually," he says. "I am seeing someone." He walks forward, and places an arm around a startled Caitlin's shoulders; She has just registered Patty, and Barry's extremely unusual behavior has her as still as a mouse. Barry leans forward, and casually nuzzles into Caitlin's neck. _"Please just go with it for now,"_ he murmurs before pulling away. "I don't, however, know about the Flash. You'll have to ask him yourself."

It hurts both of them to look at each other and know that what could have been was lost because of pride and secrets, but neither backs down. Patty's eyes flash towards Caitlin, and she smiles. She extends her hand to shake, and Caitlin gingerly accepts it. She has to switch her purse to her left hand in doing so, and Patty catches sight of something that has her still for a few seconds. "You're engaged?" Patty asks, eyes darting from Caitlin's to Barry's like she's caught wind of something slightly amiss.

"Yes," Barry and Caitlin say at almost the same time. They both blush, and Caitlin's hand finds Barry's, grasping it tight. _I'm with you,_ the gesture says. _I'm with you._ "Just a few days ago, actually. He'd proposed a couple times before, but..." Caitlin shrugs bashfully, "I have a heart of ice, I suppose. It took him a while to melt me."

"But I did," Barry acknowledges. He smiles at Caitlin brightly, and then looks towards Patty. "It was real nice to see you, Patty. We've gotta go, though. We have to go by my place so I can get ready. We're going to a party." He waves, and Caitlin follows his lead. "Goodbye." Turning, he begins to drag Caitlin out the door, when-

"I have a wedding invitation for you guys. I almost forgot to give it to you!" Patty jumps forward and hands Barry an envelope. "It's in two weeks. You'll be there... right?" She bites her bottom lip.

Barry is about to say no. He is about to say that they couldn't possibly come, because he has business in Star City that very same week, aw man, but the _wish them the best,_ when Caitlin cuts through his thoughts. "Of course, Patty." She says, voice ridiculously warm. "We'll see you then. Take care!" And just like that, she is the one pulling a dumbstruck Barry out the door and down the stairs and into the elevator.

Barry doesn't talk until they are out the door and down the street. When he does, he says, "what was that?"

"What was what?" Caitlin returns, fidgeting with the ring on her finger.

"You, agreeing to go to that wedding!" Barry runs a hand through his hair.

She shrugs, "you needed to save face. I was more than happy to help."

"But, but, but-" He sucks in a breath, "I'm sorry I forced that on you. Thank you, so much, for helping me save face, but you don't have to, anymore. It's not fair to you to have to go to a wedding just because Patty thinks we're engaged, alright? I'll tell her we can't make it."

"Don't do that," Caitlin responds easily. "It's my fault for wearing this ring," she holds up a simple gold ring with a teeny tiny stone in the middle. "I rarely wear it, and I..." her mouth twists, "was thinking ahead. We're going to a club, and I didn't want any strange company, so I put it on. It's my fault she thought what she thought, but hey, it's okay. We'll just pretend. We're not _terrible_ actors."

A slow smile spreads over his features, "why, Caitlin Snow, what has gotten into you?"

Her smile stretches to match his as they round the corner to his house and enter inside. "I can be adventurous sometimes." She smiles. "Go get ready. I'll wait. And, I dare you to do it _without_ speed."

"Challenge accepted," he replies cheekily, and jogs up the stairs like a normal human being.

* * *

When he comes back downstairs, ten minutes later, he is wearing a deep red leather jacket with a black shirt underneath and blue jeans. His hair is brushed back. He turns to find Caitlin sitting at the dinner table, sans high heels, bent over a piece of paper. She looks up when she senses him, "hey, come look at this." She says, handing him the paper. He takes it, and begins to read:

 _February 6th, 2016._

 **Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow's Fake Dating/Pretend Engagement Guidelines:**

1. **Caitlin and Barry shall not fake date around any mutual friends/acquaintances, except for Patty Spivot.  
** 2\. **Barry will not make Caitlin speed around the city unless she wants to.  
** 3\. **Caitlin and Barry will keep their stories straight.  
** 4. **Caitlin will always be honest with Barry.** **Barry will always be honest with Caitlin.  
** 5\. **Barry and Caitlin will always have each other's backs.**

Barry places the paper on the table and laughs. "Guidelines?"

She nods, firmly, "guidelines. Guidelines are good, Barry. They'll help us so we don't get confused. Is there anything you want to add?"

"Um," he bites back a laugh before grabbing her pen out of her hand and scribbling down some more notes.

6\. **Caitlin will not make Barry sit down for random physical examinations.  
** 7\. **Barry will text Caitlin every morning, because he's an amazing gentlemen and every girl's dream.**

She inspects his added guidelines before scoffing, "I do _not_ give you random physicals! Liar."

"Yes, you do!" Barry insists, "like, when Cisco and you and I went to that Fiesta super market place he's obsessed with, I said it smelled funny, but you and Cisco were like _nah, bro, you're making it up_ and when I kept insisting you sat me down and gave me an examination!"

"Well, in my defense, you made a _giant_ deal about it." Caitlin shakes her head.

Barry's eyebrows shoot up and he grabs Caitlin's shoulders, shaking them slightly. "You gave me the exam _in the store._ I was _sitting_ on _toilet paper!"_

They begin to laugh and, still laughing, they tumble out of the house.

* * *

The club is loud and the line is long. As they wait, Barry and Caitlin decide that this night will be their test night. They map out their plan, their backstory, and even their inside jokes. When the bouncer lets them in, Barry's hand links itself through hers and squeezes tight. "Together or not at all?" He asks, practically yelling over the noise and darkness.

Caitlin bites her lip and nods. "Together." She says. "Or not at all."

* * *

"Who the hell is that?" Caitlin hears a girl whisper to her friend as she sits at the bar. Barry has headed off towards the bathroom at normal-person speed, after being scolded by Caitlin that, yes, of course she can handle herself. She is, after all, a woman.

"I don't know," her friend responds, taking a sip of her drink. "But he's _damn_ fine."

Caitlin stiffens, almost unconsciously, but the girls notice. "He yours?" Girl Number One asks. Silently, Caitlin nods. "Nice." The girls say, before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

She's starting to regret coming; Clubs were never her scene. They're too loud, too full of adrenaline and danger. There is nothing rational, nothing _safe,_ about these settings. She's always on edge when she goes to places like these. How Barry talked her into coming here is a mystery to her. She gets up to move when someone knocks into her. Turning slightly, she sees a man with a shock of blond hair and beautiful green eyes lined with eyeliner watching her with a curious expression. "Hi," Caitlin says, stupefied.

"Hi," he returns, and his lip curls into a smirk. "I'm Tony. And you are..."

"Caitlin," she answers, blinking.

"Well, Caitlin," Tony takes a seat next to her, and he leans in close. She can smell the beer on his breath, and she recoils slightly. "Why don't I buy you a drink?"

She shakes her head, "no thanks," Caitlin turns away slightly. _Where, oh where, is her fiancee?_

He makes a displeased noise and tries again, "Come on, what could go wrong?" He grabs for her arm, but she's a fast little thing, clumsy though she is at times. Caitlin flies off her seat, and without looking back, she races out of the club, her heart beating quickly, her legs carrying her who-knows-where.

* * *

"No, yeah, we met like, last year, but we didn't actually get together until a few months ago, and now we're engaged, and it's super great," Barry says to the bouncer that's taking his break. "She's gorgeous, and _super_ smart, and..." Barry catches sight of his faux fiancee slipping out the door of a club. A few seconds after, a big man follows her with a displeased expression on his features. "Running out of the club." Barry finishes. "Gotta go, sorry, see you, nice to meet you, bye!"

And with that, he rushes out of the club, cursing himself as he does so at an abnormally faster speed than humanly possible. He's gotten distracted again; Story of his life. He got distracted and now Caitlin's in trouble and-

Oh, God.

Caitlin's _in trouble._

He sees her, on the ground in a dirty, ugly alley, with a dirty, ugly man on top of her. Her arms are pinned back, and she's kicking at him but it's to no avail. She's crying, she's _yelling,_ but no one's _listening._ Why is no one listening?

He acts before he thinks. Barry rushes towards the man, the idiot, weak excuse for _human,_ and tears him off Caitlin before throwing him towards the end of the alley and into the street, where a car breaks with extreme speed to stop from running him over. The man's head is bleeding, his leg bent awkwardly, but Barry doesn't really care. He bends down and picks up Caitlin gently. "Hey," he whispers quietly, right into her ear, brushing away the hair that's falling into her tear-stained eyes. When he looks into them, he realizes just how pretty they actually are, and how terrible it is to see them cry. Something in his heart shifts, but Barry doesn't have time to analyze it right then. "I'm here," he murmurs. "I'm here, with you. Together, or not at all, right?"

She doesn't respond. Caitlin just closes her eyes and breathes quietly for a few moments. When she's ready, she opens them to greet him. "Run, Barry." She says.

And he does.

* * *

After that, they go everywhere together. Cisco starts to call them _C_ _aitbarry,_ which Barry takes in stride but Caitlin fights tooth and nail.

It's two days before Patty's wedding that Iris approaches him.

"You and Caitlin are awfully close these days," she begins, smiling that signature smile of hers.

Barry feels his face heat up. "Yeah, so?" He asks, rubbing his neck.

"So," Iris taps her chin, "I think you're sweet on her, Mr. Allen." She leans forward, _"are_ you sweet on her?"

He scoffs, scuffing his foot against the floor. "This conversation is making me wildly uncomfortable. _No,_ I don't like Caitlin. That's, like, _totally_ ridiculous. Why would I like Caitlin?"

She shrugs, "I don't know, maybe because she's super pretty, and extremely smart, and sassy, and wise, and can keep up with you -which, let me tell you, is a phenomenal task in and of itself. Caitlin's beautiful, Barry. And she likes you. You'd be stupid or _really_ freakin' gay to _not_ like Caitlin."

Barry starts. His ears grow bright red and his head jerks up in surprise. "Caitlin likes me?" He asks, excitement coloring his features.

"Yes, idiot," Iris hits Barry's arm. "And as your best friend, I command thee to ask her out before you guys' comic con thingy this weekend."

"Actually," Barry begins without thinking, "we're engaged."

 _"What?"_

He laughs, once again rubbing his neck. "Um, yeah. It's sort of a long story."

Iris leans against the wall and crosses her legs, arching a brow at him.

"I've got time."

* * *

"I don't know much about love," Cisco begins. Caitlin suddenly has a sense of deja vu, like he's said this _exact_ thing before, in another life, but she doesn't say anything. Just sort-of smiles kindly and takes a bite of pizza; They're having their weekly 'Netflix-or-Hulu-or-Voodoo- and chill'. "But what I do know is this: you have smiled and laughed and been overall more _happy,_ less... _frosty,_ I guess, in this past month alone than in the last twelve months combined. And I know why." He tilts his finger at her, oh-so menacingly.

She smirks, "do you?" She asks. "Tell me, then."

Cisco collapses on the couch next to his best friend and nudges her, "Barry effin' Allen."

"I am _positive_ Barry's middle name is not _effin',_ Cisco." Caitlin rolls her eyes at her friend. "What's Barry got to do with anything?"

"He's the reason, woman!" Francisco dramatically cries, before stuffing his mouth with pizza and continuing his speech. "You've got it _bad,_ girl. Like, real bad. I'm talking like when I fell in love with _Pamela_ bad. That's how bad you've got it."

Caitlin is suddenly thankful her hair is covering her cheeks. She sucks in a breath, gathering her thoughts, before approaching the matter in a totally scientific and factual way. "I don't love Barry. I don't even have a crush on Barry. He's a boy, Cisco, and I'm a woman. And, even if he _was_ a man, I still wouldn't love him. Science says my pupils would have to dilate when I saw him, blush when he gets closer to me, says my heart rate would have to speed up. I do none of these things."

"Liar!" Cisco practically screams. He pauses the movie _(Begin Again,_ with Keira Knightely and Mark Ruffalo) before turning his full attention to her. "Barry _is_ a man. He's a _super_ man, for God's sake. He saves lives everyday, protects us, his family, the city, the _world._ He's as man as you can get, and he still can act like a kid sometimes. Plus, he's pretty smart. Like, I don't know about you, but you'd have to be stupid or _really_ frickin' gay to not like Barry." Caitlin slaps him, and he puts his hands up in surrender. "I'm just sayin', if I were a girl, I'd be _on that,_ if you, ah, know what I mean."

"Do _you_ know what you mean?" Caitlin returns.

"Oh, frosty," Cisco tsks. "Also, you _do,_ in fact, do all those things you listed above. _Including_ what you did just now. You know,turn to science so you don't have to deal with the facts. Which is, actually, sort of ironic, now that I think about it." Cisco bops Caitlin on the nose and smiles. "Soul sister, you got it real bad. Lucky for you, though, you've got him wrapped around your finger."

She opens her mouth. Closes it again. "... I do?" She asks slowly. Quietly.

Cisco nods. Hands her a fudgesicle. "Yeah. Don't sound so surprised.

"Oh my God," Caitlin exclaims, taking the fudgesicle and shooting off the couch, "how did I not see this before?"

"See what?" Cisco asks, now alarmed.

Caitlin rips off a piece of the chocolate fudge bar and growls out, "I like Barry. _I_ like _Barry."_

A slow smile spreads over the Latino's features. He gets up and hugs Caitlin, who's smiling at the same time that she's shaking. "Welcome to the real world, Caitlin." Cisco tilts his head: "It sucks. You're gonna love it."

She laughs.

* * *

"You're late." Caitlin informs him when he runs up to her, where she's standing on the train platform. "Fastest man alive, and you're _late."_ Her face is masked into a scowl. She wonders if she's effectively hiding how nervous she is underneath it all.

Barry scoffs and nudges her shoulder with his (there are sparks that run through his body when he does so, and an overwhelming sense of peace overcomes him in just that one short touch). "I was, but only because I wanted to get something for us. For the two hour trip, you know?"

Curiosity overcomes her. Cautiously, she reaches up to test the boundaries; Flirting in general has never been her strong suit, but for him, she will try. For them, she will try. Leaning her head over his shoulder, her chin comes to rest on said shoulder -thank Jesus for heels- before she asks, "what did you get?"

(His mind is reeling at her touch, because she smells like fresh mint and he's never been particularly fond of mint but on her it's like paradise on earth, honestly.) "It's a bunch of stuff. I got us some pastries and water, and then I got a little game of hangman and a deck of cards."

Caitlin leans away, taking his scent with her -he is peppermint and soap- before shaking her head to clear it. "Sounds fun. And here I was just going to read."

"What were you gonna read?" Barry asks her, right as their train pulls up. He takes her bag in his left hand; His right is holding his own bag.

"It's a YA book, _To All The Boys I've Loved Before._ Have you heard of it?"

"Yeah, actually." He tilts his head. "Wanna read it together?"

She nods, "Sure thing. I already started it, though."

"That's okay," Barry winks at her. "I'll just catch up real quick. Fastest man alive and all that."

They board the train.

* * *

 _"I wonder what it's like to have that much power over a boy,"_ Caitlin reads quietly. Barry's head is resting on her lap, and his eyes are asleep. She's running a hand through his hair and he's practically purring as she does so, it's ridiculous. _"I don't think I'd want it; It's a lot of responsibility to hold a person's heart in your hands."_

Suddenly his eyes are open, staring at the cover with large eyes. "Would you?" Barry asks Caitlin quietly.

Her hand stops moving, startled by his voice (why did she stop? he wonders). "Would I what?" She sets the book down after marking her page.

"Would you hold a person's heart in your hands? Or do you think it's too much responsibility, too?"

Caitlin bites her lip. Gathering her thoughts, she says, "I used to be terrified of doing that very thing."

"And now?"

"And now..." She looks out the window of the train, where the seaside whizzes by them. It's fast for her. It's probably painfully slow for Barry, who even now is fidgeting with his hands as he stares up at her with wide eyes. "And now I think I'd take the chance, even with the things -the people- that I've lost. I'd take the chance if it meant that the person would hold my heart in their hands and guard it with their life, too, because it means they..." Caitlin clears her throat, awkward.

"It means they love you back." Barry says. He props himself up on his elbows, and suddenly he's that much closer to her. "I get that." He murmurs.

"Yeah?" Caitlin asks. Her nerves are going haywire.

(She looks cute when she's nervous, he thinks. But then, she looks cute all the time.)

He's close to her now; He could count her eyelashes if he wished. "Yeah," Barry responds, and begins to lean forward.

 _"We will be pulling into Mayhart Station in thirty minutes. Mayhart station."_

They jump away; Barry would have fallen if he hadn't quickly stopped himself. He sits up, on his seat, facing her, and they stare at the floor awkwardly until Caitlin finally says, voice just a little icy (he hates it, good Lord, he hates it), "Wanna play hangman?"

When he looks up, he sees the apologetic teasing in her gaze, and suddenly everything is better. As Barry pulls the hangman game out of his bag, something between them shifts, and he slips into the seat next to her.

Halfway through the game, Caitlin unscrambles his hidden message as _"will you go out with me?"_

She answers back with _"yes"._

* * *

 **Hey, Ollie, guess what**

 _chicken butt_

 **...  
Felicity  
Get off your boyfriend's phone**

 _damn it  
how'd you know_

 **Oliver Queen doesn't say "chicken butt"**

 _Bartholomew, you are 0 fun.  
_

 **Whatever, I guess you can know too. But I just wanted to tell Oliver that I asked out Caitlin tonight.**

 _what  
wHAT  
WHAT  
YOU ASKED OUT *CAITLIN*? I THOUGHT YOU WERE PINING OVER IRIS?_

 **I was until I started fake-dating with Caitlin and then fake-engaging with Caitlin and then I LIKE CAITLIN k yeah**

 _YAYYY SNOWALLEN HAS SAILED  
oh shoot  
oliver's done showering  
gots to run  
xoxo, overwatch out  
_

 **You are very stupid, but I love you anyway.  
The Flash out.**

* * *

"Hey, guys, I'm really glad you could make it!" Patty barrels into them, her husband holding her tightly on the arm, and Caitlin and Barry smile in return.

"Patty!" They say in unison. And then, Caitlin says, "you look beautiful. We're really happy for you."

"We are!" Barry agrees. He shakes hands with her new husband, "nice joint."

Patty grins, all starry-eyed, before looking at Caitlin's hand with widened eyes. "Did you forget it?" She asks, regarding the 'engagement' ring, which Caitlin had removed after Barry had asked her out for reals.

And so, together, Caitlin and Barry launch into a long-winded, mortifying story of how Patty Spivot accidentally played matchmaker. When they are done, hands clasped and cheeks red, Patty's beau says, "you have weird exes, darling."

She kisses him squarely on the lips, "not as weird as _you."_

They wave and walk away, leaving Caitlin and Barry staring at them in bewilderment. "That was strange," Caitlin finally mutters, brows furrowed.

Barry leans in close to her, and she shivers at the proximity, at how much she likes it. "Let's get out of here."

She is, well, more than happy to oblige.

* * *

"What do you think of this place?" Barry asks her absentmindedly, as they sit on the beach and stare at the ocean.

"I think it's lovely," Caitlin responds, leaning into him.

(She's cold against him, all tiny frame and steady hands, but he's very hot, and he likes that he can warm her up.)

"Same here," he agrees, his hands rubbing against her arms as he leans forward to nuzzle her.

She shifts, "Stop! That tickles!"

He obeys, albeit begrudgingly, but grabs her hands and presses them close. "Your hands are cold," he whispers, his face a breath away from hers.

"Warm them up," Caitlin suggests, voice equally low.

Barry brings her hands up to his lips and kisses them.

"It would be my pleasure."

 **fin.**


End file.
